About Therapy With Me
Picture the First 50 Minutes of a Session
There’s no script you have to follow, no way to say it wrong. You describe what’s been happening.
Sometimes, things start clicking into place faster than you expected. Sometimes, it takes a few sessions to find the thread.
Either way, the session is working toward something specific: a clearer read on what’s driving the pattern, and something concrete you can do differently this week.
That’s the experience I work toward every time.
What the Work Covers
Most people I work with are dealing with one of a few things.
Some are managing anxiety, depression, stress, or grief.
Some are navigating relationships that keep going sideways.
A few are dealing with all of it at once.
The Approach to the Work
The approach pulls from two disciplines: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for identifying and replacing the thought patterns that aren’t serving you, and psychodynamic exploration for understanding how your history has shaped the defaults you’re running today.
Those two things work together. Understanding where something came from is useful. Knowing what to do about it is essential.
Most clients tell me some version of the same thing after we’ve worked together for a while:
“You really listen. I have more tools now at my disposal.”
That’s what I’m after.
If You’re a Man Who’s Burned Out on Dating
There’s a specific frustration that comes from being capable in most areas of your life and completely at a loss in this one.
You’re meeting people.
The dates go okay.
And somehow you keep getting friend-zoned, or burning out on the apps, or watching something that had real potential fade before it got off the ground.
What’s Actually Going On
For most men in that situation, the dating problem isn’t really a dating problem at its core.
Self-worth and dating confidence are tied together in ways that aren’t always obvious.
The same self-doubt that keeps you from taking risks with someone you’re attracted to shows up everywhere else too.
The Conscious Dating Framework addresses exactly this.
It replaces reactive dating, the kind where you’re following chemistry and hoping for the best, with deliberate practice.
You learn how to read a situation, how to engage differently, and how to build the kind of genuine confidence that was always there but never had a clear outlet.
This isn’t pickup artistry.
It’s the clinical and coaching work of changing how you operate in relationships.
Progress is real and it happens.
Many clients start noticing genuine shifts within the first four to six sessions.
About Mike Ames, Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Relationship Coach
What 30 Years Taught Me About Dating
That approach to relationships didn’t come from a textbook.
I’ve had a lot of experience in my own life with dating and relationships, and I’ve learned from my mistakes. That’s not a small thing when you’re sitting across from someone who’s frustrated and starting to wonder if it’s just them.
Personal experience is part of why I ended up pursuing both clinical licensure and relationship coaching certification.
Theory gets you so far. Lived experience gets you further. Thirty years in private practice in California, hundreds of clients, and a wide range of issues.
Singles and couples. And a consistent observation across all of it: people come in frustrated, not dramatic.
They’re doing well in their careers. They can hold a conversation. And they can’t understand why the relationship piece won’t come together.
The work I do with them is direct. We figure out what’s happening, not just what it feels like on the surface. Then we build skills. Specific things to do differently.
Training and Background
My approach draws on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), psychodynamic history-taking, and skills-based coaching. As a licensed psychotherapist and certified relationship coach, I bring both the clinical and the coaching perspectives into the room.
Sessions are available via telehealth throughout California.
Ready to Get to Work?
Call me or reach out through the contact form. The first conversation is straightforward: no pressure, just an honest look at whether working together makes sense.
Schedule a free consultation, and we’ll talk about what’s going on and where you want to be.